The best person i know....

I am four years old. I spend most of my time at papa's house. My sister is always there too! We get up early every morning with papa and make oatmeal or eggs for breakfast. We always sit on the counter or stand in the chair next to him. We eat and then it's off to the living room to watch the Disney Channel. My favorite show is Kids Incorporated. I know all of the songs and dream of being one of them! My sister really likes winnie the pooh, secretly I do too. We sing the theme songs to everything loudly all over the house and granny just smiles as she is cleaning all around us, telling us to put our toys back in the drawer when we're finished. It's pretty outside. We tie towels around our necks and try to fly off the front porch...it's high up, but we don't care, we're brave. Flying doesn't work. We grab an umbrella and try to be Mary Poppins...for a second we swear we're floating...nope...doesn't work either. We then go downstairs to the basement. It's scary down there and granny tells us to be careful. We play hide and seek until it's time for lunch.

I am 14 years old. I'm a dork. I don't really have any friends and i spend all of my time listening to music, singing by myself. My sister lives with dad, and i'm living with mom. It gets really lonely. Sis and I see eachother every weekend or so. I have a car, but i can't legally drive to town yet. It's an ugly green car with no radio or air conditioner...oh yeah, and it's a standard, and i'm not really good at it yet, but at least it's a car and it's mine. I buy a radio from the flea market and Taryn and i try to install it. Mom laughs at us because we have no clue what we're doing. We finally figure it out and it works, but it's really old and all we can pick up is country stations. We don't care, we roll the windows down and turn it up as loud as we can and sing away. We play basketball in the yard...we're really not very good, but we have a blast anyway. It's sunday...time for sis to go back to dad's. I go back to my room... I wish it was friday again.

I am 18 years old. I live 200 miles away from my family. I have a secret. It's sunday night and i am at a friend's house and my phone rings. It's sis. she's already crying because she knows the truth before she asks. "Yes," I tell her, "I'm gay." I beg her not to tell anyone, that i'm not ready for anyone else to know, and the only reason i told her is because she's always been my best friend and i can't lie to her. It doesn't work. She tells everyone because she says she's not strong enough to hold it in. Dad calls. Mom calls. Everyone calls. I turn my phone off and get drunk and stay that way for days. I skip class, i miss work, I just don't care. I turn my phone back on eventually. Mom is the only person's call i take. She begs me to call my sister, she's so sorry and upset and just wants to talk to me. She's not sorry enough--I don't call.

I am 25 years old. I still live 200 miles away. I have finally got my shit together, and i'm doing really well. My sister is my best friend. We talk every day or so. She knows when something's wrong without me even telling her. I feel the same way. She's had two miscarriages, and i'm the only person she will talk to about it. She's waiting to try again, she wants a baby so badly, and i really want to be an uncle. she's a teacher and i tell her i don't have the nerves for that. She's always been great with kids. Secretly, i'm jealous of her...secretly, she's jealous of me. I got out of Cushman, she's still there.

I am 25 years old. I miss the days of flying off the porch with an umbrella. I miss hide and seek. I have my best friend though. She's always there to sing stupid songs with me. We cry at the same stupid commercials on tv. She's the best person I know, and i'm so happy that she's my sister. ( love you sis!!!)