Moments With My Dad

Returns to our home to find his things on the porch.
-he is kicked out before he can run away

Sits in the chair as the blonde woman tells us the news.
-he gets her pregnant before they are married

Locks the trailer door to keep us out.
-he makes the drugs while we play outside

Returns to their home to find his are gone.
-he is abandoned by her for a man named Pigg

Says he needs time to work things out for himself.
-he disappears for two years

Calls collect from jail.
-he lives in a cell without any windows

Asks for a visit from his "family".
-he tells me that a 20 year sentence is too harsh for selling meth

Charges are dropped after a trial.
-he has a friendly lawyer with a friendlier assistant

Moves into the home of the paralegal aid.
-he doesn't tell us that another brother is on the way

Returns to her home to tell her he's leaving.
-he is sick of all the mind games

Lives by himself for the first time in decades.
-he gets lonely and wants a friend

Tells us about the young woman who is pregnant.
-he has to accept that baby number six is on its way

Finds a religious woman who accepts his past.
-he wants her to take care of him

Forgets about past mistakes and the children they produced.
-he lives a new life with a better family

I look forward to my future as I say "Good-Bye" to a father who never knew me.

Some People Just Annoy Me....

People that are self-centered really annoy me. I absolutely cannot stand it when people act like they are the most important thing on the planet. They say girls the worst. You know the stories where two girls meet and they are so nice to each other's faces and then they turn around and say something mean behind the other's back? Even though girls can be "catty," guys are guilty too!
I was on a co ed team here at the University and the guys acted more like backstabbing women than I did. They were constantly bickering amongst themselves. Arguments they had were just evidence of how shallow they really were. The hot girl dumped dumped them, but only because he was about to dump her. "I didn't get that scholarship because I really didn't need it." These are things they always said. They thought they were such a "big deal!"
Whenever we went on a trip they think their stories are more important than anyone elses, and they let you know it. They would curse in my face when things didn't go their way. Then they would laugh at the shocked look on my face like what they had just said was average every day speech, and it was, for them.
I was raised with the idea you didn't ever curse, especially anywhere near women. My shock when these boys decide to curse at me was something I was not sure to handle.
So I find it annoying, I find it annoying when people think they are more important than anyone else. I get real irritated at people being disrespectful, and I just can't handle those "cocky" guys who think they are God's gift to the female population.

Whew...I'm done.

Scars and Injuries

Belly button...hernia...surgery age two...recovery time one month

Diagnol scar across ribs...fell in between two bleachers...lots of blood...age four...recovery time...a few days...

Scar on shin...slipped on my dog's water bowl...hit a kitchen chair...up past my bedtime...big trouble...recovery time grounded for two weeks...

Concussion...hit my head on uneven bars...huge goose-egg...blacked out...scared of that event for months...recovery time 3 weeks...

Broken ankle...twisted it at a gymnastics meet...first event...couldn't compete...coach was furious...recovery time 2 months...

Two broken ribs...landed on my stomach on a tumbling pass...during a competition...everyone watched...knocked the wind out of me...recovery time 4 months...

Left shoulder...nine incision scars...gymnastics injury...three surgeries...never realized how much you use your shoudler...recovery time 2 years...

Broken heart...many occasions...recovery- time heals all...

People Who Have Died

Joseph Wells....my cousin....hit by a train, going to work, didn't see it for the fog and no railroad crossing lights....1993
Steve Seay.....family friend....was also hit by a train with Joseph Wells, they went to work together......1993
Andrea Doyle.....college student at NSU......never drank....my high school teacher's daughter.....hit and killed by a drunk driver......2002
Joe Wells....my great aunt....in a lot of pain.....committed suicide.....2006
Josh Barnes.....cousin, only 23.....drown at the lake, his favorite spot.....2006
Luther Ross....grandpa....little indian man.....poor hospital care...2008
Kima Ross.....my uncle's ex-wife....breast cancer.....2008
Ellen Brannon....great-grandmother....87 years old....natural causes...in a nursing home....2009

All of these people regardless of who they are had someone who loved them and always will. It is hard dealing with death, but it teaches you to cherish what time you have with them. They will remain close to my heart always.

Broken

So what are you trying to get out of this? That was the question i asked the girl staring back at me. It seemed fair and simple enough, but that question was a destroyer of worlds. She stared back and didn't say anything, the pause said it all. I could tell by the look in her eyes she knew she was about to hurt me and even though she didn't want me she didn't want to do that. She started with the compliments, how much more painful. The old run ons of how great etc etc, but, theres always a "But." That "but" ruins everything that the left-handed compliment even said so theres almost no point in saying it. I started glossing my mind over during the compliments, not even paying attention, just getting ready to accept the ineveitable rejection that was coming. She eventually said that she was leaving and while she really liked me and liked dating didnt love me and wouldnt stay. As the numbness wears off you start to wonder if you miss the girl, the friend, or if its honestly just your pride that was really hurt. While time heals all wounds, rejection never becomes easy.

I kept hoping he might turn into a prince

Zach Jones....in the back of the Texarkana movie theatre...while the credits were rolling


Hunter Daniel
his sister and I were good friends....She had a slumber party, he stole a kiss on the stairs, everyone knew.

Daniel Baker.....worst kiss I ever had....he might as well have spit on me...he also had a uni brow, I gave him back his class ring.

Josh Davis....talked me into sneaking into the coat closet at a fancy benefit, what I thought was hours, was only 5 minutes.

Kyle Price.....A tornado was coming through town, we drove into a car wash to protect the truck
from hail....we had to kill some time

Broderick Crawford
has probably kissed 10000000 girls, probably why he was so good at it.

Chance Williams....
The most nervous I ever was about kissing someone was with him....we were in a stairway of the La Quinta in Kansas City.....by far, best kiss, worst location....wonderful memory

I just say that I was kissing all these other boys to practice for Mr. Right!
--Jordan McDaniel

Year after year.

Megan Jameson....car accident....the first friend I lost.....I was only 14.

Jeremy Whaley....hit by a car....ex-boyfriend....I was 15.

Justin Snyder...passed in his sleep after his junior prom from Hemophilia....my neighbor my entire childhood.... I was 16.

Anthony Etoch....fell asleep at the wheel, thrown from his car....best friend.....I was 17.

I got a break for about 3 years:

L.B. Rodman.....congestive heart failure....grandfather.....I was 20.

I've lost all these amazing people in only a few years, how does that happen? I don't think I can take anymore.

Right in the Kisser

My brother and I were sledding down a small slope - more of a knoll - in the backyard of our family's little tract house in St. Louis. He was 4 1/2 and I was almost 3. He was pulling the sled back up and I jumped on. He came to a sudden and jerky stop - his big boy boot buckles jangled one hard time. He turned around and saw my flailing to stay on the slick plastic sled. I stopped rolling around when I realized the sled had stopped moving. I looked him square in the eye and stuck out my tongue. Then he kicked me - right in the mouth. Seven stitches (in my tongue) later and I have yet to stick my tongue out at anyone again. 

 

That Night

My mother rarely cries. That night I am playing with cars at the bottom of the stairway. The phone rings, and I ignore it, and seconds later my mom is at the top of the stairway. My mother rarely has her hair down. That night, the wavy, graying hair covers half her face, and her eyes are red. She mentions a relative, his name I can't remember. Her cousin. He passed away, she explains. I bite my lip. She says that he was drinking, and that people do strange things when they drink. My fingernail picks at the dark green carpet, and I try to half listen. He killed himself, she says. She pauses, I look up. Her hand tries to hide her shaking chin. I stare at the toy trucks. She and dad will have to go to the funeral, she says. I'll be staying with grandma.

Relationships that've taught me a thing or two...or not

Sara Carter....my first childhood crush....my first grade school girlfriend....my first kiss....she dumped me a week later....First grade.

Paige Anderson....I asked her out over the phone....I was so nervous....later realized I asked her out to be popular in school....Fourth grade.

Erin Baldwin....I actually got a friend to ask her out for me....somehow that worked....realized it was a mistake two weeks later....Sixth grade.

Kristen Roberts....first time I rounded second base....amazing....Eighth grade.

Jessica Daphne....my first REAL girlfriend....she always told me she loved me and I never knew what to say....awkward....Tenth grade.

Laura Flowers....the love of my life....at the time....I learned a lot about relationships....what to do....what not to do....but it was the first time I ever felt TRUE LOVE for someone....best feeling I've ever had....Eleventh grade.

Audrey Beeler....she crushed my heart and then took a shit on it....I loved her....she didn't love me....I never thought rejection could hurt so much....College freshman.

Melissa something....first one-night stand....the next morning was interesting....I wasn't entirely sure how we got to that point....College sophomore.

Kelly McBride....incredibly beautiful woman....completely out of my league....I guess she thought I was funny....College junior.

Andrea Cyphers....most recent SERIOUS girlfriend....I learned that laughter and helping your partner whenever times get tough can go a long way in a relationship....but it takes work....Last year.

I've learned a lot about relationships throughout my years, lessons learned through good and bad experiences. I'll never fully understand women. As a male, I just don't believe I can. I'm thankful for every encounter I've had with a woman. It's helped shaped me into the man I am today...but I still have a lot to learn.

I Always Thought I Would See You Again

Krissy...........car accident........my first funeral.........we were only in 9th grade, 2003.

Ryan Murphy (my brother).........colon cancer...........my hero........he had just turned 27, 2004.

Brad Dawson..........car accident.........he danced with me at my first high school dance.........2005. 

Everett Norwood Hill (my grandfather)..........heart attack..........the strongest man I've ever know.........the week after Thanksgiving, 2006.

J.W. Murphy (my grandfather)...........alzheimer's.............he was always so happy even when he was sick............the week before Thanksgiving, 2007.

"Be open to your dreams, people. Embrace that distant shore. Because our mortal journey is over all too soon."

-David Assael

Past Injuries

My knee…tripped while running through the ghetto…had to get stitches…4 years old

My arm…running down a big hill while trying to get a way from a swiftly rolling wagon… didn’t even know for 3 weeks…4 years old

My middle finger…crushed in a door at my elementary school…turned purple for weeks…5 years old

My left ankle…stretching out for first base after hitting a bunt…sore for years…13 years old

My left wrist…took a charge on the basketball court because my coach told me to…out for the rest of the season…14 years old

My right pinky…jammed while stealing a basketball from a boy…still fat and deformed…14 years old

My nose…fighting for a basketball…bled everywhere…14 years old

My left ankle…tripped during a 100meter hurdle race… crutches for a month (but I got off them the morning of prom)…15 years old

My forehead…playing tag in a pool…swelled up to the size of an egg…17 years old

My right ankle…trying to scare my brother…crutches for a week…17 years old

My heart…loved and lost…couldn’t overcome the distance…18 years old

Friends I've Lost

Nightie......my baby blanket...made special for me in 1989...lost it in 1998.

Ashley......my 1st human companion...meet at day care 1992...changed daycares 1993.

Heather Powell(Army Brat)....3rd grade Best Friend...only pen pal I ever had...
met on the playground 1993-her family moved 1994.

Christy Rosie...replaced Heather...that hoe stole my favorite ring...became ex-friend 1995.

Allie White...we had sleep-overs ever weekend...loved the game MASH...started hanging out when she moved to town in 1997...stopped when she got her first boyfriend and became lame...2002.

Kallie Smith...had this obsession with monkeys...went to church camp together...hooked-up with my first love...2002-2005.

Carly McCloud...danced together 13 years...became close in highschool...lost touch in college...2003-2006

Stephanie Georgia...freshman year roommate...loved at first and hated eventually...2006-2007.

Friends come and go but it's what you learn from them that's important.